Its 1:44 am and I’m listening to some really weird hindi songs, which is weird in itself because I do not like Hindi songs, I haven’t for a long time but I guess times are changing and so am I.
It has been a tough day. I woke up to a really long and nasty email from said ex boyfriend. I don’t understand how you can start and email saying ” Listen, I don’t think I want to talk to you ever again” and continue writing for the next 670 lines.
Basically no email from your ex boyfriend can be nice, but this was on some other level of weird. It used a lot of fancy words for no reason. It was like the letter Joey writes for Monica and Chandler’s adoption agency as a reference, where he just uses the thesaurus on every single word. It really felt like that. But I read through it, it was nasty, abusive, condescending, rude, low and many other adjectives that you can think of. I’ve decided I have nothing left to say to this man anymore and I refuse to respond to any of his tactics cause fuck that. Its unbelievable how shit a person can make you feel. I am so glad I don’t love this guy anymore cause man that would hurt. I’ve spent countless times before trying to correct him or be like “No, thats not what happened” but today I just sat with my friends discussed the mail, openly told them how I felt about it and that was that.
Friends are so important. Treasure them, cherish them and please take full advantage of the fact if you’re blessed and you have people you can lean on. The only thing that hasn’t made me go crazy are my friends. Whether its on the phone, or texting them its just been such a good good fucking time.
My weekend was amazing. No drama no shit. Just a bunch of people chilling it felt amazing to not have the tension in the air. Or worry about it the next day. It was the 5th of November and somehow whilst we are in the backyard drinking, a impromptu bonfire has started. We actually burnt a log of wood with nothing but a lighter, dry leaves and excessive use of perfume. That was amazing and a really really good day
Next day , Saturday we opted for a day in cause I just am too old for club nights on a weekend. Like no thank you, don’t want to spend 5 hours just trying to make it to the bar and ordering a drink only to have it knocked out my hand cause there are 60,000 people in the bar. Empty house, great scenes. This is where my Hindi song phase has started again. 3 of these guys yesterday suddenly started singing with full gusto to some really weird songs. Im pretty sure one song is called my dick.
Anyway it was just a such a good night, with great vibes. Me and Badhwar were treated to synchronised dancing by the boys, guys it was the best thing in my life.
And thats when you realise, nothing that happened today takes away the joys of the other days. And this is it. This is life. Finding happiness and bliss in the small things and literally knowing there is one life so might as well enjoy the fuck out of it, no matter how cliche. I spoke to my friend who thought I was quite okay and over this break up but its just a facade that needs to be put up because it helps me get through it. Try and act like you actively do not care and one day maybe you wont. I’ll let you know if that works out.There goes some public relationship therapy for free.
I dont know if I’m going to still be as good friends with these people 5 years down the line. I want to enjoy every single moment right now cause I do not know where and how people end up. But right now I am so happy and blessed to be surrounded people that genuinely care about me and I feel so unbelievably lucky, I don’t know why ive been dealt these cards but god am I thankful.
Okay my work officially starts tomorrow and I want to die. So goodnight and bye.
What Social Life? 